nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
