i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
