Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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