Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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