had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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