Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
