You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
