He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
