the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
