I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
