i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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