At least make sure they are 18
Why
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
