she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
