I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
