i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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