how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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