I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
