Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
