Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
