Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
