Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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