when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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