I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
