Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
