Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
