What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
