Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
