Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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