I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
