why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
