I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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