My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
