But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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