dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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