i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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