This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
