Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
