She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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