What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
