my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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