Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
