she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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