yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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