the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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