I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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