Sponge bath it is.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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