that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
