We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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