If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My feet surprised me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
