You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
love makes seman taste better
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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