This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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