saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
