Umm I'm too high to move.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
