Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
