so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
