they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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