you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize