i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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