Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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