You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize