Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
