I want to have your abortion
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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