there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
