I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize