if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
