it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
