We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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