Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
