just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I cannot find my penis.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
